if you guessed that some people are irate that they cast a black man as johnny storm for the next fantastic four movie, you’re right!
SEAHAWKS: DEATH BIRDS GONNA EAT UR EYEBALL JUICE PEYTON
BRONCOS: POOP-EATIN LOSERS WITH NO EYEBALL JUICE REMAINING
man, fuck that stupid Clash of Clans game. my 10 year old kid and all his friends saw the ad and started a clan together and then DRAMA! TEARS! ultimatums carried out and regretted! accidental bannings!! this thing has only been a part of my life for three days and I already want to shoot it out the airlock.
when you say “no” all I hear is “i’m old and change-averse”
<guzzles a tiny bottle of brightly colored carcinogen and then floops down a half-pipe on a skateboard shaped like a penis, Kansas playing loudly in the background>